Meet the O’Brien Family
Success Stories
Growing Our Rainbow Family
My partner and I had been together for over five years when we finally gathered the courage to reach out to Common Sense about adoption. Making that first phone call was difficult, as we couldn’t help but worry about the possibility of rejection before even getting the chance to talk to someone. However, our fears were quickly dissolved when we connected with a genuinely caring and experienced adoption professional on the same day. Their warm welcome and encouragement to learn more affirmed our decision to take this meaningful step towards growing our family.
What truly touched our hearts was the openness and honesty about the real barriers to adoption and debunking false ones. Common Sense fostered an environment where we felt empowered to research and explore various adoption options – none were considered off limits for us. This level of transparency became a foundation of trust, assuring us that we were in the right place.
Together with our dedicated adoption worker, we developed a personalized training program that accommodated our work schedules and provided the knowledge we needed about adoption and foster care. We were motivated and eager to move forward, grateful that weekly classes weren’t mandatory. Our days were filled with reading, online studying, and engaging in heartfelt conversations with other adoptive parents. Within a few short weeks, we were ready for our home study, surpassing expectations and setting records for our preparedness.
The time and effort we invested in preparing ourselves for adoption proved to be immensely valuable. We didn’t waste precious moments on adoption or foster programs that wouldn’t align with our goals or might have prolonged the process unnecessarily. We felt an unwavering confidence in our readiness to embrace a child into our home with love and care. Although our first adoption took a bit longer than we anticipated (a mere year, looking back), we may have been a tad impatient during the wait. Now, those ups and downs we encountered while navigating the child welfare system are remembered as insignificant challenges, overshadowed by the immeasurable joy our first daughter brings to our lives.
Reflecting on our journey, our second adoption seemed smoother, perhaps due to cultivating more realistic expectations during the process. Common Sense prepared us for what was to come, guiding us with honesty and clarity every step of the way. We developed a profound appreciation for the agency’s commitment to sharing waiting times and costs transparently, allowing us to make informed decisions that best suited our family. Their unwavering honesty created a sense of trust that has remained with us throughout our entire parenting journey.
To all families considering adoption, we wholeheartedly encourage you to take the risk of reaching out, even if you have doubts about being accepted by an adoption agency. At Common Sense, you can expect unwavering honesty and support throughout the process. They will provide you with a comprehensive understanding of all aspects involved, including waiting times and costs, empowering you to shape your own adoption journey. Our experience as parents has been enriched by their encouragement, acceptance, and ongoing support whenever we need someone to turn to.
We are forever grateful for Common Sense’s role in helping us build our family. Their commitment to compassion, honesty, and inclusion has allowed us to experience the incredible joy of parenting. As we continue to navigate this beautiful journey, we hold onto the belief that there are no unwanted children, only unfound families. Common Sense helped us find ours and we are forever grateful.
My Amazing Experience as a Single Parent
My life felt complete with a great job, hobbies, friends, and a big family. But as a single adult, I knew there was something missing. I wanted to make a deeper commitment to someone and show them my love and care. That’s when I turned to Common Sense and was welcomed with open arms.
I realized that I needed some coaching to be clear about my motives and what this meaningful commitment would entail. When I decided to adopt, I knew I had taken the right step for me.
Together with Common Sense, we began looking for kids who were waiting for permanent homes through the foster care system. The search felt long and tiring at times. But finally, the right little guy came along, and everything felt right after that.
Although he is labeled “special needs” due to some developmental delays, I don’t see it that way. Instead, I consider them challenges we will tackle together, and it’s been an incredible journey so far.
As a single parent, I adore figuring out ways to help him and see how we can grow together. The special services and rearranging our home to accommodate him have become second nature to us. Our physical and occupational therapies have also turned into adventures with imaginative games.
Being a single parent has been the single most rewarding thing I have ever done. It has brought me incredible joy, and I am grateful to have found Common Sense to support me and my son throughout this life-changing journey.
Baby Makes Three through Birth Parent Adoption
When my wife and I got married, we knew that having biological children would not be possible for us. We spent years discussing how we could build our family and find the love and connection we longed for. While my wife yearned for the experience of having a baby, I wasn’t quite certain if it mattered as much to me. We were aware that there were children in need of loving homes, but the thought of adopting an older child made us feel apprehensive.
We reached out to Common Sense, an organization known for their compassion and expertise in adoption. They truly heard and understood our concerns, patiently guiding us through the possibilities and presenting the pros and cons of various types of adoptions. Prior to that, we had carried a lingering guilt about primarily wanting a child who would resemble us. We had also believed that such a match would be nearly impossible and come with a significant financial burden.
Ultimately, we came to the realization that welcoming a baby into our lives was of utmost importance to us. We understood that investing our time and resources in the pursuit of what felt right and authentic to our family was unquestionably worthwhile. After embarking on a home study, our daughter arrived in our arms about a year and a half later, filling our lives with an overwhelming joy and sense of fulfillment. Every minute of being a parent, from the midnight feedings to the sleepless nights, has become an experience I cherish deeply.
Initially, we had reservations about meeting our daughter’s birth parents, uncertain of what it would bring and how it would impact our journey. However, taking that step turned out to be the most incredible thing we could have done. It provided us with a profound understanding of the immense love our daughter’s birth mother had for her. Witnessing her affection and concern for her child allowed us to demonstrate our own care and reassure her that we were devoted to both her and our baby. Although we don’t maintain constant contact, occasionally sharing pictures and cards through the agency, we know that it offers her solace, knowing she made the right decision.
Friends and family often expressed concerns about the costs associated with infant adoption. Admittedly, it was not an inexpensive endeavor. However, we would gently point out that the expenses incurred in pursuing infertility treatments could be equally significant. Additionally, we realized that the money we invested in trips, cars, and our home—things that only offered temporary pleasure—would pale in comparison to the immeasurable joy and fulfillment of becoming parents. We were careful to ensure that we worked with a reputable agency, making the conscious decision to invest in our family’s future.
Infertility Opens Up a World of Possibilities
The realization that starting our family wouldn’t be as straightforward as we had assumed hit us like a tidal wave. Despite enduring countless infertility tests and treatments, the dream of having biological children remained elusive, leaving us on an emotional roller coaster ride. The pain and disappointment were palpable, but our determination to become parents never wavered.
Eventually, we made the courageous decision to explore the world of adoption. We reached out to several agencies, but it was Common Sense that resonated with us. What drew us to them was their unique offering of coaching, which provided invaluable support as we grappled with the anger and loss that accompanied the realization that our dreams of conceiving biologically would not come to fruition. Common Sense’s commitment to journeying with us beyond the initial stages made us feel seen and understood, assuring us that they would be there, regardless of the path we chose.
Initially, we assumed that infant adoption would be our desired route. However, to our surprise, my husband and I discovered that our hearts were truly drawn towards older children.
Our journey took us to South America, where we welcomed our first boys into our lives. Falling deeply in love, we embarked on a new chapter of parenthood. Witnessing their seamless adjustment to their new country, language, and culture was awe-inspiring, and in return, we gained a newfound appreciation and understanding of a part of the world we had yet to explore. The bond between them remains unbreakable.
Encouraged by the success of our first adoption, we made the decision to expand our family once more. Our boys eagerly embraced their roles as loving big brothers, and together, we cherish the moments that make our family truly complete.
A Family Tradition
In our family, fostering and adoption have always been woven into the fabric of our lives. Inspired by our parents, who served as foster parents during our upbringing, my sisters and I naturally embraced this tradition. It was almost expected of us to open our hearts and homes in this way, continuing the legacy of love and support.
My older sister has dedicated many years to fostering. She thrives on the challenges this journey brings, finding immeasurable joy in witnessing children reclaim their lives from the adversities that led them into foster care. With her natural blend of teaching, social work, and nurturing skills, she is not only a beacon of light for the foster children but also extends her unwavering support and care to their birth parents. My sister and her husband eagerly embrace the task of helping families reunite, creating an extended family network that spans generations—former foster kids and their parents who have stayed connected throughout the years.
Following in the footsteps of our family tradition, my baby sister lovingly carries the torch. Though she has had relatively short stays with various foster children, providing respite care to fellow foster families, destiny had other plans. On occasion, she welcomed babies and toddlers into her home who were unable to return to their birth families. In a beautiful twist of fate, she has now adopted one of these precious children and is potentially opening her heart to another. These children have effortlessly blended into our family, becoming every bit as cherished as those born into the fold. Their presence is an undeniable blessing that enriches all our lives.
For a long time, I couldn’t envision myself following in the footsteps of my extraordinary sisters. Being single and deeply committed to my career, I relished the freedom and flexibility that accompanied my lifestyle. The idea of being tied down to a baby seemed incompatible with my aspirations. Moreover, I hesitated to delve into the challenges that often accompany older children, especially those with special needs.
But life has a way of surprising us when we least expect it. Everything changed the moment I met my son. Seeking a week of respite from his foster family, he entered my sister’s home, and an instant connection was forged between us. Although he defied the age range I had envisioned for adoption, I couldn’t ignore the undeniable bond that formed between us. Despite the age gap—I certainly didn’t see myself as old enough to have a 14-year-old son—his remarkable spirit and personality captured my heart. Learning that he was legally free for adoption, with his current foster family uninterested in pursuing adoption, my path became clear. I am now on the journey to becoming an approved foster/adoptive parent to this exceptional young man who will soon become my son.
Parenting Even Better Second Time Around
Our story begins with raising a loving and well-rounded family at a young age. As our children grew and ventured into the world on their own paths, my spouse and I found ourselves contemplating what the next chapter of our lives would hold. It was during these reflective moments that a realization struck us: our true calling, our greatest joy, was being parents. It was a role we had always embraced, and one in which we excelled.
Initially, we harbored doubts that our age might hinder our chances of being considered as foster or adoptive parents. However, the reassurance and support we received from Common Sense shattered those uncertainties. Their encouragement and belief in us alleviated any concerns we had, showing us that age should not be a deterrent. With their compassionate guidance, our journey towards fostering and adopting out of the foster care system began to take shape.
Entering this new chapter, we recognized the need for education and understanding of the foster care system. Common Sense proved to be an invaluable resource in equipping us with the knowledge we sought. They understood the unique challenges we faced due to my husband’s unpredictable work schedule, and instead of rigid classes, they worked closely with us to design a personalized training program. Through online courses, self-study materials, and community classes, we delved into the intricacies of fostering and adoption, gaining the confidence to navigate this journey. Now, armed with this knowledge, we have the privilege to guide and mentor new individuals entering this noble work.
Common Sense’s collaboration with county agencies has been instrumental in ensuring that we have a say in the placement of children in our care. Understanding our strengths and preferences, they have worked tirelessly to find matches that align with our family dynamics. Having extensive experience with boys, we have discovered that our truest potential lies in caring for them. While teenage girls may not be where we excel, we recognize the importance of finding the right fit for each child’s unique needs. Occasionally, we have been pleasantly surprised to welcome younger boys into our home, providing us with cherished opportunities to create lasting memories together.
We have had the profound privilege of becoming the permanent home for some of the boys in our care. Each time, the decision felt right, as if the threads of destiny intertwined to create a forever family. Adopting older children has proven to be a perfect fit for our lifestyle, as we understand the intricacies of preparing them for the real world. Through love, guidance, and unwavering support, we have witnessed their growth and watched their dreams take flight.